her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
