On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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