I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
