I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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