I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
