so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
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My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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