I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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