Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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