dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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