its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize