margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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