Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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