Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
