Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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