Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
