I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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