You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
