I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We are two peas in an std pod
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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