im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
