I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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