this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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