You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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