I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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