hell yes lets make some ravioli
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
