12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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