She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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