areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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