Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
