I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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