You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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