D3 body, D1 cock
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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