Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
