i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
