I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize