Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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