so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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