addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was born a porn star she said
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
