he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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