I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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