somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
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We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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