Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
