you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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