we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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