went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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