Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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