worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
