im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
