Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
