suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
