I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Did I show you my penis last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
