she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
