Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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