i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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