We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
