Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I look better un-naked...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
