So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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