Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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