Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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