Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
