Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You made out with two different species that night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
