if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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